Pas De Deux Bella
Lambert, Truman, Fiona and Irving Lively (by *lalalaurie)
Sometimes you just need a cuddlepile of kittens on your blog
(via bryarly)
A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.
About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”
He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:
Hey Mom
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.
A couple days later he got a response from his mother:
Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom
(via tanicreepin)
crying I didn’t realize people shipped them omg and their faces this picture is too perfect
(Source: pony-curtis, via earlblue)
let me explain you a thing
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present a British national Icon…
(Source: brightandalarming, via earlblue)
manchester: gays. you will probably get mugged.
liverpool: like manchester, but less gay. you will definitely get mugged.
newcastle: probably quite good for canadians as exists in permafrost and has never left the 90s.
leeds: it's a lot cheaper than london
bradford: leeds but awful
nottingham: gun death capital of the uk!
derby: intense rivalry with nottingham, literally no one else in the country or world gives any fucks about this.
hull: violently resist anyone who attempts to take you here
leicester: i'm not sure this is a real place
york: this is an illustration from the top of a christmas biscuit assortment
birmingham: NO.
brighton & hove: more gays. is only a pretend city. mild to moderate chance of mugging. contains some deeply annoying hippies. basically if san francisco was british.
portsmouth: there is literally nothing here.
southampton: exactly the same as portsmouth but smells of off milk
bristol: you have a 1 in 10 chance of ending up in a bbc recording. everyone sounds like a farmer or bob marley.
cardiff: you have a 1 in 5 chance of ending up in a bbc recording, and a 1 in 3 chance of being glassed.
plymouth: post apocalyptic wind tunnel full of drunk sailors pissing on depressed hookers. do not enter.
penzance: everyone here is from london now.
london: no one from london is actually from london and even breathing is expensive.
cambridge: windy and full of equal amounts of homeless drug addicts and public schoolboys. the junkies are nicer.
oxford: same number of cunts as cambridge but easier to escape from due to all-night bus to london
edinburgh: a goth turned into a city. basically london but slightly more scottish.
glasgow: it is impossible to tell whether people are angry or happy.
aberdeen: las vegas at the point when vegas starts crying uncontrollably
belfast: do not order "an irish car bomb" OR "a black and tan" here.
wolverhampton: really, really don't.
norwich: count people's fingers. mutations walk here.
coventry: like plymouth, bombed flat in ww2. like plymouth, failed to take the hint. like plymouth: do not alight here.
peterborough: you probably got off the train to Edinburgh a couple of hours too early.
Looking sharp, looking bloody adorable.
Sorry to whomever posted this, I can’t find the original link.
(via earlblue)
So my mom told me to record a song for her. She didn’t give specific instructions like what kind of song and she didn’t tell me not to fool around while singing, so there.. now’s my chance to do some impressions
(by order)
Britney Spears
Vanessa Hudgens
Angelica Pickles
Raven
Isabella
Bubbles
Scuttle
My dad’s GPS
Me
EVERYONE STOP AND LISTEN TO THE PERFECT POST
holy fucking perfect!
The best fucking post ever
(via earlblue)
